


don't come home

by peach25



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Business Trips, Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 17:49:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peach25/pseuds/peach25
Summary: joshua remembers now, what his dad had said.that choi is a weak man. you don't see it now, but you will soon, i think.he gets it now, and laughs, because he really is stupid for thinking that everything would be fine.





	don't come home

**Author's Note:**

> hey! so uhhh recently i've come to realize that i really don't like my writing style. and i have a lot to improve in terms of prose which is a nice challenge, i guess, but that means i'm going to lowkey abandon peach25 for however long?? most of my current works will stay up, but my pseud honeymilks is where i'll be posting a majority of new stuff from now on! message me on twit or tumblr if you wanna talk~ hope you're all staying healthy and happy ^^

“Is it working?”

“Yeah! I see you.”

Joshua grins, leaning toward the camera to blow an exaggerated kiss. Seungcheol rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he laughs.

“Cheesy fucker.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah, okay.”

It’s only been a week, but Seungcheol feels the pain of missing his fiancé like a gash in his chest, sharp and unyielding. They spend a couple minutes just looking at each other through Skype’s shitty quality, smiling like losers in love. (It’s true though, and the matching silver bands around their fingers are physical proof.)

Joshua is the first to speak, curled up in his room all the way across the ocean. His bed looks big and lonely, no second body to occupy its left side.

“Tell me about home,” Joshua asks softly, looking slightly homesick. “I miss you.”

Seungcheol huffs out an amused breath. “You are home, though. America.”

A shake of the head. “Nah. You’re in Korea, aren’t you? You’re my home. It’s not the same without you.”

“Oh my _God, Jisoo_. When did you get so sappy?”

“Just tell me about your week!”

“Okay, okay.”

-

_It comes as a letter, a formal invitation to Hong Jisoo from some big fancy business that wants to meet with him and include them on their production team for a big project, something about strengthening international bonds and utilizing his ridiculously high intelligence or some shit. Seungcheol had sort of stopped paying attention as Joshua had read it aloud, opting to pepper kisses along the line of his throat instead._

_They had talked about it in the morning though, Joshua covered in blossoming red marks and Seungcheol with a fading, self-satisfied smirk._

_“Is it important to you?”_

_Joshua had nodded, looking sad and excited all at once. “Yes. But six months? That’s a long time, Cheol.”_

_“You should go.”_

_A shrug. “Maybe.”_

_“No. I think you should go. It means a lot to you, and it’s incredible that you were even invited. It’s fucking huge, Joshua. Sleep on it if you want, but in my opinion, you are so incredibly talented when it comes to this kind of stuff, you have great ideas, and...and I think you’d regret it if you didn’t go.”_

_So Joshua had gone._

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too. Have a safe flight. Don’t forget to message me, okay? Tell me all about your big business plans.”_

_“We can Skype!”_

-

The next time they talk, four weeks have passed. 

“Hey,” Joshua mumbles. He looks exhausted, eyebags dark purple and hair a mess, like he’d been tugging on it.

Seungcheol tsks. “You should sleep. You look like shit.”

“Ha. Thanks. You are truly. The light of my life.” A yawn. “I’ll head to bed soon. I wanted to talk to you. I miss your face.”

Seungcheol smiles wide, sunshine and adoration. It must be sometime in the afternoon in Seoul. Joshua can see blue sky out of the kitchen window behind Seungcheol.

“What time is it?”

“Like, past midnight.”

“Go to bed.”

“In a bit! Please distract me. I can’t fall asleep, my mind is still in work mode.”

Seungcheol props his chin on his hand, resting on the countertop. “How’s the project going?”

“Sucks.” Joshua blows a raspberry. “Not as cool as I’d thought.”

“Least you’re getting paid the big bucks, though.”

“Tell me how you’ve been? I feel bad for not Skyping sooner. I’ve just. Been so busy, I-”

Seungcheol shakes his head, smiling gently. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”

“Thanks. Now will you tell me what’s new?”

“...So I’m mentoring this new employee, right? And he’s really good, Joshua. He’s brilliant and actually wants to learn new things and experiment with stuff. It makes me, I don’t know...strangely proud? Happy? Oh, and he said that I am his biggest inspiration, the whole reason he got into graphic design. He’s so passionate. It’s refreshing.”

Joshua blinks languidly, sleepily, still managing a small smile. “What’s his name?” 

“Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Cool.”

Seungcheol nods. “He’s incredible at what he does. You should see his design portfolio.”

Joshua hums. “I’d like to, if he’s as talented as you say he is. They’re actually looking for a new logo design for this project after it’s revised and finalized. He could help, probably.”

“He’d love that,” Seungcheol says, beaming. 

-

It happens like all these things do; slow, and then ending in an ugly, cataclysmic explosion. Communication is key, but Joshua gets a three month extension in LA and they don’t talk for a month, save for short texts and missed calls that don’t get returned. He’s too busy. He forgets that a lot can happen in a handful of months. 

Seungcheol  
 _2:05 pm_  
hey. hope ur doing ok~ love you lots i miss u

Joshua  
 _2:10 pm_  
Miss you too. I’m on break right now, can I call?

Seungcheol  
 _2:17 pm_  
sure i’m with jeonghan right now tho

Joshua  
(Calling)

“Hello?” A voice asks, too high and lilting to belong to the owner of the phone. 

“Seungcheol?”

The voice giggles. “Ah, no. Hold on, sorry.” 

Joshua hums, picking at the label on his bottle of water.

“Josh?” 

He smiles, relieved. “Hey.”

An exhale, air crackling over the receiver. “Sorry, that was Jeonghan. We’re, uh. Working on stuff.”

“Oh. I can let you go if you’re busy.”

Joshua hears muffled talking, and then a short, joyful laugh from Seungcheol. He’s missed that sound. 

“Sorry, what?”

“Are you busy?” 

“Yeah. Sorry, um. I can call you back later?” 

“Okay, bye.”

Seungcheol hangs up first, questions still dangling off of Joshua’s tongue. The click of the call cutting off sounds cold and impersonal, and he’s hit with a sudden wave of heavy, suffocating loneliness. 

-

_He’s pretty, delicate and feminine, and everyone on earth knows that Choi Seungcheol has a type; this boy is no exception. Yoon Jeonghan, he says, flashing a smile and winking. His eyes track the movement of Seungcheol’s hand as it hands over his nametag, gaze lingering on his engagement ring. He leans over the counter, arms propped up like a little kid. I look forward to working with you he says, like a dangerous promise._

_Seungcheol has always been a weak man, knows that about himself, had even made himself promise that he would stay faithful to Joshua, because he does truly love him. But even Joshua’s father had seen how weak Seungcheol is. He had listened to Joshua rant about how close-minded his father is, how upset he was that he couldn’t just be happy they were engaged._

_It still doesn’t change the fact that Seungcheol likes the sound of those words coming from Yoon Jeonghan’s mouth, and the smirk that accompanies it. He can’t help it._

-

Joshua wakes to the sound of his phone ringing, little blips and beeps meaning someone is trying to call him on Facetime.

 _Seungcheol_ , he thinks. His hands almost knock his phone off the nightstand, and he sits up slowly, thumbing the accept button. 

It’s not Seungcheol.

It’s a different man. Whoever it is has dark hair swept to the side, pink mouth in a pouty smirk, and shirt buttons popped open a few notches to reveal smooth tan skin. Pretty. 

“Jisoo?”

Joshua nods, eyebrows scrunched up. “Who is this?”

The man tips his chin up. “Jeonghan.”

“How did you get my ID.”

A soft laugh. “It wasn’t hard. Cheollie mentioned you wanted to see my portfolio? I’m sure he won’t mind.”

 _Cheollie_. “Isn’t it late in Korea? Why are you calling me now?”

“I couldn’t wait. Besides, I don’t think Seungcheol will mind too much,” Jeonghan murmurs, and then the camera is panning down and oh god there’s Seungcheol, asleep, an arm slung across Jeonghan’s hips. He’s not wearing a shirt, and he has marks on his back, long lines and blotches of crimson purple. They weren’t there before.

Joshua thinks he might throw up.

-

_“I love you.”_

_“Don’t,” Joshua pleads, tearing himself away from Seungcheol’s grip, latching onto the balcony like it’s a lifeline. Seoul is spread out before them, glittering lights embedded in the night. They blur, hot tears trembling in his eyes. “Don’t say things you won’t mean.”_

_Joshua Hong knows too much about heartbreak and empty promises, and he swore to himself he would never, not ever, but then Seungcheol came along and maybe he’s wearing down a little. It scares him like nothing else has or ever will._

_“I mean it. I love you. I love you now, I will love you when we’re thirty, or fifty, or one hundred.” Seungcheol looks at him like he’s got the entire city of Seoul glowing inside of him, affectionate and loving and a little pained, like it hurts to look at him, or that he can’t believe Joshua would doubt the extent of his love._

_“Stop,” Joshua pants. He might be hyperventilating. “Please. I. I love you too, so much, and I think that. That if you didn’t mean it I might break. Literally actually break, so please Seungcheol-”_

_“Marry me.”_

_“What.”_

_A thin silver band, a promise, an eternity spread out before them, and Joshua Hong has never felt as happy or free as he did in that one shining, breathless moment._

-

Joshua ignores all of Seungcheol’s texts and calls.

Seungcheol  
 _11:40 am_  
so you won’t believ…

Seungcheol  
 _3:13 pm_  
are u okay? haven’t h…

Seungcheol  
 _5:01 pm_  
joshua. it’s been s…

Seungcheol  
 _7:18 am_  
??? are you igno…

Seungcheol  
 _2:56 am_  
itdds bedn tnn we…

Seungcheol  
 _10:55 pm_  
jeonghan says i…

Seungcheol  
 _8:20 am_  
i’m sorry? i don…

(26 MISSED CALLS)

 

His project finishes. He doesn’t come home. It hurts too much. He wants to punch something every time he thinks about it. Joshua is lost, confused, hurt, a million other adjectives that don’t come close to the pain of what he actually feels. One night he drinks too much, the other night he does nothing but lay in bed. His phone keeps pinging, less and less these days, but it’s a relief.

Unknown Number  
 _2:45 pm_  
We miss you.   
[attachment.img]

Joshua screams, flings his phone across the room, tries to press the image of Seungcheol kissing someone who is not him out of his mind.

The photo. Black and white, something slightly blurry and obvious that Seungcheol hadn’t known it was being taken, half of the picture dark and blurry like a shitty paparazzi candid.

-

_I love you to the moon and back.  
I will tear the stars from the sky with my bare hands and present them to you strung together like a necklace of pearls.  
They will never compare to the beauty of you.  
I love_

-

Joshua sends his ring in the mail.

Cliché and petty.

He doesn’t care anymore.


End file.
